Father Daughter Dance

You and daddy "cut a rug" at the Old Town Dance. We curled your hair and put on sparkly princess lipstick, sweet perfume and powdered your nose. I got you a "poofy" dress and dressy white shoes. You got to wear your gold bracelet and cross necklace. A big bow to finish off and you were ready to dance. It was SOOOO much fun to get all dressed up and just one of the thousands of reasons I adore having a daughter. You looked stunning :)

...and I think you might adore your daddy, just a little bit. That is exactly how a daughter should love her daddy. :)

 Fancy Hair

My sweet thing.

You look like such a big girl.

You and Daddy. I love your little hand on his.

Showing some teeth ;)

See that big bruise on your cheek. You fell off the back of the couch...which means your climbed onto the back and tried to jump off.

This is whole hearted love. Completely unguided picture. This is how you are.

Same goes for this. Big kisses.

Off into the sunset, on your date :)

Hospital Stay Numero Dos

So, this will hopefully be the last time we see the inside of a hospital room for a long time...hopefully ever.  After some breathing issues, and continued weight dip...we are back. You are not hooked up to an IV this time, but a heart monitor and oxygen monitor.

We had a Barium Swallow test that was Awful to watch. This x-rayed liquid in your GI Track to make sure there were no obstructions or masses...and Thank God there are not. Everything was clear and working wonderfully. This is great, but left us with no answer.

Test number two was a swallow test that x-rayed your mouth and throat as you swallowed. Lo and behold it showed that when you swallow some of the liquid does not go to your esophagus but takes a trip to your air way and you aspirate. It is like an adult having their drink "go down the wrong tube" which results in a coughing fit. The problem is, is you have become non responsive to this and grown accustomed to it. This makes it difficult for you to finish a bottle because you eventually become uncomfortable and kind of give up. The thicker the formula the less you aspirate. So, we are now adding rice cereal to bottle to force you to swallow slower.

This is all something you will grow out of, but it is going to make the next several months tricky as we wait for your throat to mature and your head and neck control to increase. Thankfully, we now understand the crying, the raspy coo, the groggy breathing, etc. Laryngomalacia plays a small part in this, but nothing that is severe enough for surgery. Looks like we will just have to sit tight, have lots of patience, and prayer to carry you through all of this. The doctors and speech pathologists have reassured me that you will get better. I am looking forward to that :)

"I'm two and a HALF, Mommy!!"

Oh my sweet, sweet, sweet thing of a daughter you are. I do not know what I would do without you and your hilarious take on life. You make me laugh so hard. I have never in my life met a child with so much spunk and personality at this age. I am not saying that because you are mine...I am saying that because it is true.

You make up stories and tell them to daddy, with loud sound effects and constant twirling (you are always a ballerina princess). If I put on a navy sweater, you revolt and tell me swiftly that you are not a boy, and to hand over the pink one. You will sit and let me paint your nails for as long as it takes. When I ask you about your hair in the morning, you respond, I just want a bow...nothing else. The list of "funny sayings" is endless, and I wish I could write them down as fast as you spit them out.

Your sassy-ness is up and coming quickly, and my strict-ness is getting stronger. Some days I feel like I am constantly reeling you back in to reality..."No you can not have cupcakes and candy for breakfast", quick pouting session..."Mommy, can I have chocolate then?" and you can imagine how that response and further reaction pans out. I must admit, the tantrums and sassy ways do not bother me the way I thought they would so far. You told me I was a mean mommy yesterday because it was not in your plan to take a nap...So I just told you I love you and shut the door. I am sure this is only the beginning ;)

Your vocabulary and understanding of words is insane. And your compassion and ability to communicate makes me forget you are only 2. Sometimes you have to put me in check. For example, Friday I was trying to get you to sit up in your chair straight and eat your lunch. I kept asking, and you kept looking at me funny. The more frustrated I got, the more perplexed you became. Finally you said, Mommy I don't understand what your asking me to do, okay!!" Boy did I get a little mommy check ;)

The bond between you and your brother is already forming as you pretend to rock him and tell him that "it is ok, I'm right here, bwother bwand". So far, you have handled having a sibling beautifully. I can think of one day that you were almost unbearable in seeking attention and throwing fits, but for the most part I can not complain.

You have also become quite the daddy's girl in the past few months. One because mommy seems pretty busy these days, and two because you two have a hilarious relationship that I am so grateful for. But when you get hurt, sad, scared or wake up in the middle of the night, you still call for mommy, and that is reassuring ;)!!

You are so very special to me. Happy Half Birthday :)

2 Months OId

Today marks 2 whole months of life. This world is so much fuller with you in it and our home is that much warmer. You have had a rough 8 weeks, full of sick days and a very hard time eating. You have already had a hospital trip full of IVs and weird tubes to clean your congestion. You have had a fiber-optic camera shoved up your nose and down your throat to take a peak and make sure things are alright...and the road is not quite ending yet. We have a few other tests that we will do soon. There is something in your throat that is keeping you from comfortably eating. It is a constant struggle to finish a bottle.

With all of that said, you are developing wonderfully. Your little chunky body is amazingly resilient and Dr. Clifford reassured all of this at your check up.

Even though your weight is the issue, as you have been stuck at 14 pounds for 3 weeks now...you still remain in the 100% for weight at 14 pounds 10 ounces. You are a little over 24 inches and your head is decent sized as well...I never remember that one. So, if we can get your eating sustained you will be one healthy sack of potatoes.

You are in some 3-6 month clothes, but comfortably in 6 month clothes. Your hair, although thinner, is still pretty crazy. It is lightening a bit to a pretty chocolate brown instead of black. Your eyes are on their way to being the same color as your daddy's hershey kisses, but they seem to be my shape, just like your sisters. I also have noticed that you are super verbal. You coo and squeal and smile like you are trying to giggle. You recognize our faces and voices very well. Nuzzling into our necks and chests is your favorite "I'm sleepy" cue, and I love snuggling with you.

If I let your sleep, which I haven't been able to because of the weight issues, you will sleep for hours and hours :) Giving my theory that boys are better sleepers than girls some solidity.

It is so nice to have you smiling up at us, cooing and squealing, grabbing onto our faces and your sisters hair ;).  Just watching you grow is such a blessing and cures all of my mommy worries when you fail to get enough ounces in for the day.  I know that we will work through all of the kinks. More weight checks will keep us on track to make sure you are all right.

Love you, sweet boy.

Sick Baby Boy

I knew being a mother would bring equal joy and worry. I had always heard about how you can "love something so much it hurts", etc. There are two little ones in this house that my heart is wrapped tightly and  completely around, and your daddy too.

Let's just say my heart is so heavy with worry and hope and more worry that it is about to fall through my stomach. You have been having quite the time lately. I noticed a few weeks ago that you were becoming a finicky eater. I tossed it off to colic and your tummy being upset. Little did I know that it was the beginning of this monster illness that has taken over your body. You woke up with a really runny nose last weekend and yucky congestion that I thought was half your sister bringing in germs, and half newborn stuff. But it turned into coughing, which turned into complete refusal of food, and then the kicker was the wheezing and tight pulling under your ribs. Needless to say, the nurse had me rush you to the hospital after I convinced her not to call an ambulance. We went to the ED and they decided your levels of oxygen were pretty low and that you should be admitted. They like them to at least be 92 and yours were dipping to an 85....let's just say I was worried. You got to spend the night in Brenner's hooked up to an IV of fluids and a machine to measure your oxygen levels. I pretended to be super strong and rock solid and not worried. And I knew you were going to be ok, so half was real, but at the same time my little 6 week old baby was having needles stuck in him and tubes stuck up his nose. Any mom would have a hard time with that.

You have been diagnosed with Bronchiolitis. It is usually a condition that is caused by RSV. I am waiting on the results for that test and a flu test. You are still not eating but 1 ounce of formula at a time. You usually take 5 ounces ever 3 hours. So you have dramatically decreased your intake. This is the super scary part as you have lost about 7 ounces in 48 hours. The doctors assured me that since you are such a big baby you have weight to spare. BUT as a mommy, that doesn't mean a thing to me. I want you full, warm, and happy. I am now assisting you in eating with a syringe, because taking a bottle is painful for your throat and difficult with the congestion in your chest. Pedialyte is another additive to your diet to keep you hydrated. Your breathing is less labored but still crackly.

I am trying really hard to stay positive. And I know as soon as you start eating again, we will be just fine. Right now I am still worried...We love you Bubba.