Life's BIG Surprises

Sometimes the story of your life is bigger than you could have ever planned or imagined. I, your crazy mother, am quite the planner. I wanted to graduate college early, I did it. Your daddy and I wanted to marry young, we did. We wanted to start a family young, we did.  Everything felt natural and life had its hard times, its fun times and its learning moments. We seemed to truck right along.

That is when fate, God's plan, oopsy moments...call it what you want. That is when our sweet thing became bigger than we could have dreamed.

On May 6th, exactly one year since I found out I was pregnant with Bland...I found out I was pregnant with baby number three. I had a sort of "mother intuition moment" where I was in an MRI machine for some scans to prepare for a spinal surgery that I need to have...again. But that is another story.

At the beginning of the MRI, I had a major minor panic attack and as the sweat beads poured over me...I made them pull me out, I quickly got dressed, and said I am sorry, but I will have to reschedule.

This surprised me, because I am usually the strong, bull headed one. The one that will get through anything, even with innate fear, just to prove I did it. I mean I deliver almost 10 pound babies with a broken Harrington rod...I can certainly do an MRI. Well not that day. And apparently for good reason.

A day later. There I was, standing shell shocked yelling Eddy's name through the house. I think he thought I was dying. But there I stood, with a "there's two pink lines panic". Boy I thought the MRI caused an attack...I was wrong. I sat there and began to take deep breathes, mainly because I was about to hyperventilate...I thought, "I just got done consoling my colicky 14 week old for three hours, we just got out of our hospital trip a month ago..."And maybe for a second, I selfishly thought, "I just put all of my maternity clothes away, and invested in a shelf full of wine." Just being honest.

So, after 3 more tests, and a sleepless night, I woke up the next morning (after a few times through the night to feed Bland) and fixed Charlotte breakfast while Bland cried and my eyes blurred from exhaustion. I went to hear the heartbeat that day and guess due dates as I was apparently clueless.

Later that day, with the help of my husband, who is obviously meant to be a coach of some sort, I started to breathe. He called me after lunch with a friend and said, "Obviously this is all part of our life's plan, this is what is supposed to be, there is a reason you did not go through with that MRI, there is a purpose for us learning so much from Bland's health issues, our faith is pushing us to the limits, and we need to believe that everything is going to be just fine."

FAST FORWARD.

That was all 4 months ago. Now I can sit here and say it has all soaked in. I have heard the strong heart beat loudly, and I feel the kicks and stretches daily. I also know that "it" is another sweet boy. I knew he was a boy from day one. I felt it, I thought it, I just knew it. Everyone around said it was a girl, but I knew different. He will be exactly one year apart from big brother Bland, and 3 years and 3 months younger than big sister Charlotte. This will be a crazy journey for our family, and all I can say is I love my babies with everything I am, and this family that we are creating is every inch of my world.

My heart is full, overwhelmed and anxious. The idea of having the chance to be a parent to three blessings makes me ask all kinds of questions, "How did I get this lucky?", "How will I get everyone in the car?", "Why is God trusting me with all of these lives?", "What if there is sibling rivalry, jealousy, competition?", "Will I ever sleep again?", "Am I a good enough mom to do this?", "What if I fail?". I have played all kinds of scenarios and worries in my head until I drive myself crazy.

But the one thing I keep coming back to is my kids faces. The love I feel when I hold them. The fullness I have knowing I wake up to them in the morning. The gratitude each day brings me knowing that they are healthy and happy (most of the time). The hope and new found faith I have gained from the little one I carry now. Amazing what happens when you let love take the lead.

to be continued...

Bland 7 Months

You are the Army Crawl Master.  You can also crawl "normally", but your belly is so heavy and large you opt for the army crawl. Totally understand, my arms hurt from holding you 24/7 so I feel your pain!

I must say that for the "hardest baby ever" you have been a pretty cute, fun, sweet, did I mention cute little guy. Your crying is few and far between, unless you are tired and then its all over. When you are done, you cut off. So, a pretty strict schedule works wonders for you and your sister...and mommy and daddy. I am proud to say that although you still have to be 1/2 asleep for most bottle feedings, you are starting to at least be somewhat awake, and comfortable with swallowing. You are also enjoying all sorts of baby food, and Puffs. Funnies part, you will eat any vegetable but don't love any fruit but peaches. Needless to say you weigh in at 23 pounds, so we are doing something right.

Changing your diaper is like wrestling a bull to the ground, and getting you dressed or washing your face follows suit. I am serious here. It.is.impossible. This deserves its own award to anyone who can successfully get you changed without ripping the diaper, starting over, giving up, etc. You may live naked until you are at least 2. ;)

It is becoming harder and harder to hold you because you try to flip out of my arms to get to whatever you want to "get in to" which is usually something that could hurt you, or break, or spill. You have successfully swiped the counter top of a bouquet of flowers and full glass vase, chewed on a power cord (yes I saved you), almost climbed out of your crib, fallen off of the bed, bumped your head on the coffee table, hmmmmm, what else, almost gone down the stairs in the walker, thanks to your sissy having a "race" with you...I think the title for this situation is 100% BOY. I would also like you to know that I was present for all of these and none were because you were unattended, I just literally couldn't get to you fast enough. Out run by a 7 month old.

I am totally in love with you. Your handsome, cute and have delicious cheeks. You break out in laughter when your sister has a tantrum (and I sort of want to laugh with you), and it freshens the moment. Your six toothed grin is irresistible, and basically you are just all around awesome. I love you my sweet little bland.

This is your 7 month picture...It is all I got buddy, I tried to get some others. But this is the one shot of you completely still and scrumptious. :) XOXO, mommy

Charlotte Said...

Charlotte: "Momma, come here, let me tell you a secret"

Me: "OK, what is it?"

Charlotte: (In my ear, loudly) "Ain't no thang but a chicken wang"

Happy Half Birthday Bland

At six months old you are all over the place. You sit up really well, and are trying to crawl. If I put you down you get on all fours and scoot from one side of the room to the other. I can not leave you alone. ever. ever. ever. The whole 'boys are into everything', that everyone told me about, is 100% true. While that means a lot more "watching and work" for me, it is really fun to watch you actually play with toys and get into things.

You are a big boy and at your check up you weighed 21 pounds, were 27.5 inches and your head is in the 98% so it is big as well. However, I feel like you are very proportioned and do not look huge. I am so thankful that you have kept your weight up and stayed such a big baby, despite your feeding aversions and sicknesses.

Your sister...she is your absolute favorite person in the house. She walks in, you light up. I must say you are quite the happy child these days, and it brings me such a special joy to watch you laugh and giggle and babble. You have said the syllables Ma and Da, but usually make yourself heard very well with squeals and bear grunts :)

We are lightening up on your Reflux meds so your eyes are starting to get less and less puffy (a side effect from so the amount of medication you have been on). You have two teeth and 4 coming in, that are taking for...ev...er. I literally go through about 15 bibs a day. Your hair is filling out in a pretty dark brown just as your eyes are the identical color of your daddy, and in you have full eye brows ;) I must say that although everyone says you are a little Eddy, we have compared pictures and you have a striking resemblance (minus the dark coloring) to my dad and my own baby pictures. So, just as your sister, you are a good blend :)

I love that you are coming into your personality and becoming more active. We had your six month pictures done and you did great. I think you liked the girl taking the pictures...Already a sly dog ;)

I could seriously kiss those cheeks for forever.

Charl...I mean Hollywood.

I tell you on a daily basis that I am going to send you to Hollywood and make some money on your dramatic personality. Whether I tell you that in the middle of a tantrum or in the middle of a funny moment remains untold ;)

Your boo boos are life ending. Your dancing is all over the house. Your laugh is loud and deep. And your eye rolls are the equivalent of a 13 year old. Your stories are long and very wild. We have our work cut out :)

Here a few things you like to say:

"I'm just chillin' momma, relaxin ya know"

"That's what I'm talking about"

"Daddy, you are so clumsy, ugh"

I captured you trying to copy your daddy during his workout at the beach. People were stopped watching you laughing. The lunges were the best.

"Whatever" (with a busted lip from dancing in the bath tub)

"Hey momma, watch my cool moves!"

speechless...but you may see this at your Rehearsal Dinner one day.

"Mommy if I rub my teeth together I get a big smile"

You told me the following story:

C: "Mommy I can do two things by myself"

M: What is that Charlotte?

C:"I can drive a car by myself and I can cut things with a knife"

M: Oh really, do you think you mean two things you can't do by yourself.

C: "No, a pink pig taught me how to drive Momma, a big one."

Digging out of the Trench

[Insert deep sigh of relief here]

To anyone that still reads this ole forgotten blog of mine. The Forrest's are back in business. We are no longer calming a crying colic, GERD, Laryngomalacia, screaming baby. We are no longer throwing out untouched bottles and worrying all night long and all day that our baby is not eating. We have not had an ear infection in two months. I am no longer (well not as much) a nervous wreck at all moments of the day searching for answers to my babies unhappiness. Life is a little calmer.

That is right. We have dried our eyes, strengthened out patience, endurance for parenthood, and I can promise you I can now handle/tune out any amount or length of crying...or volume.  Quite a hurdle to jump for me, considering I couldn't let my first child cry for more than 10 minutes until she was 13 months old. That is a whole other story. :)

I am so relieved to say that my precious, handsome, strong little boy is finally "growing out of it" as all of the doctors and specialists predicted; which frustrated me as I wanted to just fix the problem.

All the while, my shining star of a daughter has made the journey with us, and handled things with such character. I worried how this would effect her and make her feel, as a lot of our time had to go to her new brother. Instead of resentment, she joined in with the worry. "Mommy, my brother just finished his bottle, YAY! Lets celebrate" and then in rough patches, "Mommy, is he ever going to stop crying?" At the time, I replied, good question :)

The resilience of a child is something I will never be able to fully comprehend. There is so much faith involved in becoming a parent and being a parent.

So on with life we go, new hurdles to jump, new joys to experience, and new laughter to ache our bellies. And most importantly, with more strength we dive in to what lies ahead. This motherhood thing...is pretty amazing.

4 Months Old

You are changing by the day! How quickly I forgot how fun each stage of infancy can be, and all of the challenges that come with the changes.

Your check-up went well with you weighing in at 18 pounds 12 ounces, but then got sick and we went back and you lost a whole 5 ounces. Much to my relief you have gained it all back and then some as of today. Either way you are in the 97%.

You are 25 5/8 inches long, which is 80%, and your head is in the 97%. You are growing well despite your continued feeding issues.

It truly makes me wonder just how big you would be if you ate normal amounts. Hopefully we will see very soon.

You are on ear infection number 3 and this one has become a doosy as it has spread to both ears and you had to have a shot of antibiotic to clear it up. No wonder eating is a challenge!

I started you on solids recently and you enjoy sweet potatoes and pears the most. Bananas are on the do not like list. Just like your sister, you will not touch rice or oatmeal. However, you have to have it in your bottles and that suits you just fine.

Each day I thank God for having the chance to be your mommy. Your a wonderful sleeper (unlike your sister), and a happy baby (minus the reflux/esophagitus/laryngomalacia issues ;) ) Time and faith will get us through my baby boy.

As Charlotte tells us, "I love you to the sun and back" (I think she means moon) ;) )!!

xoxo, momma

3 Months Old

Happy 3 Months my Beautiful Boy.

You have the brightest smile a mommy could ask for, and every day as we get your through your feeding aversions, ear infections, and reflux that sincere, sweet smile lets me know that you are going to flourish right through it. I am so proud of you already as I watch you grow and change, giggle and smile, coo and grab your toys.

You are really losing all of your hair and it is starting to come back in at the same time in the same dark color as your daddy's hair. You also have his tan skin, ears, and eyebrows ;). You have my face shape and maybe my lips, not sure yet.

Your sissy can make you laugh quicker than anyone, and she LOVES being the big sister.

Here is to another month down and another month closer to getting you better.

xoxo, momma

Prince Charming and Princess Serephina

My dahling Charlotte,

These days you request that your daddy and I only speak in an english accent and you will only refer to us as Prince Charming and Princess Serephina...this story line has been going for a month now. It is very witty of you and extremely funny. It seems if we speak in these terribly put on accents, you will do everything we ask. And that in itself is a miracle as your head is harder than a boulder.

Hearing your daddy speak and answer as Prince Charming in the middle of a store is worth it ;)

Father Daughter Dance

You and daddy "cut a rug" at the Old Town Dance. We curled your hair and put on sparkly princess lipstick, sweet perfume and powdered your nose. I got you a "poofy" dress and dressy white shoes. You got to wear your gold bracelet and cross necklace. A big bow to finish off and you were ready to dance. It was SOOOO much fun to get all dressed up and just one of the thousands of reasons I adore having a daughter. You looked stunning :)

...and I think you might adore your daddy, just a little bit. That is exactly how a daughter should love her daddy. :)

 Fancy Hair

My sweet thing.

You look like such a big girl.

You and Daddy. I love your little hand on his.

Showing some teeth ;)

See that big bruise on your cheek. You fell off the back of the couch...which means your climbed onto the back and tried to jump off.

This is whole hearted love. Completely unguided picture. This is how you are.

Same goes for this. Big kisses.

Off into the sunset, on your date :)

Hospital Stay Numero Dos

So, this will hopefully be the last time we see the inside of a hospital room for a long time...hopefully ever.  After some breathing issues, and continued weight dip...we are back. You are not hooked up to an IV this time, but a heart monitor and oxygen monitor.

We had a Barium Swallow test that was Awful to watch. This x-rayed liquid in your GI Track to make sure there were no obstructions or masses...and Thank God there are not. Everything was clear and working wonderfully. This is great, but left us with no answer.

Test number two was a swallow test that x-rayed your mouth and throat as you swallowed. Lo and behold it showed that when you swallow some of the liquid does not go to your esophagus but takes a trip to your air way and you aspirate. It is like an adult having their drink "go down the wrong tube" which results in a coughing fit. The problem is, is you have become non responsive to this and grown accustomed to it. This makes it difficult for you to finish a bottle because you eventually become uncomfortable and kind of give up. The thicker the formula the less you aspirate. So, we are now adding rice cereal to bottle to force you to swallow slower.

This is all something you will grow out of, but it is going to make the next several months tricky as we wait for your throat to mature and your head and neck control to increase. Thankfully, we now understand the crying, the raspy coo, the groggy breathing, etc. Laryngomalacia plays a small part in this, but nothing that is severe enough for surgery. Looks like we will just have to sit tight, have lots of patience, and prayer to carry you through all of this. The doctors and speech pathologists have reassured me that you will get better. I am looking forward to that :)

"I'm two and a HALF, Mommy!!"

Oh my sweet, sweet, sweet thing of a daughter you are. I do not know what I would do without you and your hilarious take on life. You make me laugh so hard. I have never in my life met a child with so much spunk and personality at this age. I am not saying that because you are mine...I am saying that because it is true.

You make up stories and tell them to daddy, with loud sound effects and constant twirling (you are always a ballerina princess). If I put on a navy sweater, you revolt and tell me swiftly that you are not a boy, and to hand over the pink one. You will sit and let me paint your nails for as long as it takes. When I ask you about your hair in the morning, you respond, I just want a bow...nothing else. The list of "funny sayings" is endless, and I wish I could write them down as fast as you spit them out.

Your sassy-ness is up and coming quickly, and my strict-ness is getting stronger. Some days I feel like I am constantly reeling you back in to reality..."No you can not have cupcakes and candy for breakfast", quick pouting session..."Mommy, can I have chocolate then?" and you can imagine how that response and further reaction pans out. I must admit, the tantrums and sassy ways do not bother me the way I thought they would so far. You told me I was a mean mommy yesterday because it was not in your plan to take a nap...So I just told you I love you and shut the door. I am sure this is only the beginning ;)

Your vocabulary and understanding of words is insane. And your compassion and ability to communicate makes me forget you are only 2. Sometimes you have to put me in check. For example, Friday I was trying to get you to sit up in your chair straight and eat your lunch. I kept asking, and you kept looking at me funny. The more frustrated I got, the more perplexed you became. Finally you said, Mommy I don't understand what your asking me to do, okay!!" Boy did I get a little mommy check ;)

The bond between you and your brother is already forming as you pretend to rock him and tell him that "it is ok, I'm right here, bwother bwand". So far, you have handled having a sibling beautifully. I can think of one day that you were almost unbearable in seeking attention and throwing fits, but for the most part I can not complain.

You have also become quite the daddy's girl in the past few months. One because mommy seems pretty busy these days, and two because you two have a hilarious relationship that I am so grateful for. But when you get hurt, sad, scared or wake up in the middle of the night, you still call for mommy, and that is reassuring ;)!!

You are so very special to me. Happy Half Birthday :)