I knew being a mother would bring equal joy and worry. I had always heard about how you can "love something so much it hurts", etc. There are two little ones in this house that my heart is wrapped tightly and completely around, and your daddy too.
Let's just say my heart is so heavy with worry and hope and more worry that it is about to fall through my stomach. You have been having quite the time lately. I noticed a few weeks ago that you were becoming a finicky eater. I tossed it off to colic and your tummy being upset. Little did I know that it was the beginning of this monster illness that has taken over your body. You woke up with a really runny nose last weekend and yucky congestion that I thought was half your sister bringing in germs, and half newborn stuff. But it turned into coughing, which turned into complete refusal of food, and then the kicker was the wheezing and tight pulling under your ribs. Needless to say, the nurse had me rush you to the hospital after I convinced her not to call an ambulance. We went to the ED and they decided your levels of oxygen were pretty low and that you should be admitted. They like them to at least be 92 and yours were dipping to an 85....let's just say I was worried. You got to spend the night in Brenner's hooked up to an IV of fluids and a machine to measure your oxygen levels. I pretended to be super strong and rock solid and not worried. And I knew you were going to be ok, so half was real, but at the same time my little 6 week old baby was having needles stuck in him and tubes stuck up his nose. Any mom would have a hard time with that.
You have been diagnosed with Bronchiolitis. It is usually a condition that is caused by RSV. I am waiting on the results for that test and a flu test. You are still not eating but 1 ounce of formula at a time. You usually take 5 ounces ever 3 hours. So you have dramatically decreased your intake. This is the super scary part as you have lost about 7 ounces in 48 hours. The doctors assured me that since you are such a big baby you have weight to spare. BUT as a mommy, that doesn't mean a thing to me. I want you full, warm, and happy. I am now assisting you in eating with a syringe, because taking a bottle is painful for your throat and difficult with the congestion in your chest. Pedialyte is another additive to your diet to keep you hydrated. Your breathing is less labored but still crackly.
I am trying really hard to stay positive. And I know as soon as you start eating again, we will be just fine. Right now I am still worried...We love you Bubba.
